After writing an earlier article, (1) I had a realization while sitting at the keyboard.
I realized that a step on the overall, endless journey is to surrender any attachment to individuality.
I said “attachment.” I still use my name and have possessions. But I have no attachment to anything impermanent.
Anicca, anicca, anicca, my meditation teacher used to say. Not this impermanent reality, not this, not this. That is not who I am or what I’m looking for.
I’m pushing my edge here, to get myself going, but not in conversation. In self-awareness.
I push that edge on whatever level of reality is available to me in the moment.
The tool I can use most effectively to check for blocking is my breath. If there is muscular tension – a holding pattern in my body – it’ll impede my breathing and thus be sensible to me.
Yes, there’s lots of holding.
When I open to realizing what the holding is about, I realize that, growing up, I was not allowed to voice disagreements, dislikes, etc. Where I funnelled my energy was into a withholding of love and a holding on to resentments.
Massive work to be done there. I’ll be using the Law of Karmic Dispensation to forgive those who have harmed me and ask forgiveness of those whom I may have harmed. I’m not sure how else I could be free of it all in a short amount of time.
From the realization comes the real work.
I love what the Divine Mother said about our choice:
Divine Mother: We are not talking about transient interpretations of what is transpiring. It is aligning and adhering to the standalone truth – and the standalone truth, sweet one, is only love. (2)
The choice is not left or right, Democrats or Republicans, but for the experience of love or no love.
And not even loving this person or that, but loving love itself. Loving being in the experience of it, savoring it, and sharing it. Loving being love. Or not.
The choice to do that, for me, is the only true choice in my life and development. All the rest is subsidiary, dependent.
I’m watching something happen within myself which is subtle, but tangible nonetheless.
At any point in time, other things compete with it for my attention. At any time, I could be distracted and forget about it. And almost always, I am distracted and forget immediately what I may have noticed.
The tenuousness of the contact is similar to seeing a person in a crowd with no chance of interaction. Hi! Goodbye! That’s the kind of weak, distant, subtle contact I have with it.
Usually, of course, I have no deep sense at all so this is an improvement!
***
But enough. Let me get to it.
I’ve been saying to you for some time that I know X is happening on the southern border, Y is happening in the Middle East, etc. But, meanwhile, almost imperceptibly, what has crept up on me is this now-familiar and increasingly-magnetic draw to go inwards.
Long-time readers will be familiar with the longing for liberation. (1) This is of that sort but with the dial turned up; i.e., much stronger.
I’ve mentioned the inner draw before and I mention it now because it reveals to me the process whereby anyone – light or dark – might end up being drawn to Ascension or building Nova Earth.
This same magnetic draw that I’m aware of at this moment is, I believe, exactly the mechanism that is and will be used to invite a change of course, if one is ever going to happen.
In my case, that change of vote and change of course is from resisting the inner draw and continuing to focus externally to allowing it and going where it leads.
This morning I noticed the draw again. I felt the pull to get everything necessary out of the way and go inward. And I noticed how strong it was getting.
What was just a suspicion some time ago is now becoming tangible. For the first time it’s showing up on my radar.
***
I surmise, as I peer into the future, that a time will come when I’ll actually be drawn inwardly deep enough that I’ll switch my vote.
I’ll switch it from having an external focus of attention be the norm, to having an internal focus be the norm. But by that time, I believe I’ll have learned how to integrate the outer and the inner.
I remember what Yogananda said about bliss. You gradually get used to it and are able to interact after a while without seeming strange.
I don’t believe I’m being drawn inward forever, but until whatever the inward draw is intended to accomplish – personally or as a planet – is accomplished.
A stage of advancement would be an example of a personal outcome; the Ring of Fire is an example of a planetary outcome. The latter will have us draw inward big time, but it, like other experiences, won’t last.
If we listen to Vedantic sources, only Sahaja is lasting; only it is powerful enough to burn the seeds of karma and advance our consciousness beyond the Third and Fourth Dimensions. (2)
What’s happening with me is in no way Ascension. It’s a spiritual experience, yes, but in the form of a process rather than a snap.
I’m choosing to see it as a rite of passage, in the same way that St. John of the Cross’s dark night of the soul is a rite of passage. (3)
It doesn’t mean an abandonment of external awareness. It just means adjusting the balance somewhat and choosing the best sources in the time available until such time as the process achieves its result.
And it doesn’t mean I can’t report in on what’s happening. That’s what I’m here for: To go up with everyone else and write about it.
And maybe this process will never achieve a final result; maybe the process is never-ending.
(2) Ramana Maharshi: The Sahaja Nirvikalpa is permanent and in it lies liberation from rebirths [i.e., Ascension]. (Ramana Maharshi in S.S. Cohen, Guru Ramana. Memories and Notes. 6th edition. Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanasramam, 1993, 88.)
And the Divine Mother as well:
Steve Beckow: I’m trying to understand what level of enlightenment Ascension corresponds to and I think it’s beyond the normal seventh-chakra enlightenment. I think it is what is called — and I’ll make this clear to readers — sahaja samadhi. Am I correct?
Divine Mother: Yes, it is beyond what you think of [as being] with your seven chakras. … We have emerged from the Third-Dimensional realm, which is that reference point for the [seven] chakra system, into the new. So yes, you are correct, in this question and in this statement. (“The Divine Mother: Come to Me as I Come to You – Part 1/2,” Oct. 17, 2012, at http://goldenageofgaia.com/2012/10/17/the-divine-mother-come-to-me-as-i-come-to-you-part-12/.)
(3) On what is actually meant by the phrase “dark night of the soul,” see “St. John of the Cross on the Dark Night of the Soul,”
