My dear Earth friends,
This is R’Kok speaking. It is an honor and a pleasure to speak with you.
People on Earth often think of themselves as rational actors. If they have certain rational beliefs, they think that these are indeed the principles that will determine their actions.
But that is not the whole story.
Usually when push comes to shove, people’s rational minds only have a small impact on their actions, while their actions are primarily determined by their emotions and their subconscious. Often people’s emotions and subconscious don’t primarily care about truth or justice or spiritual growth or being a good human being or helping others. Often, people’s emotions and their subconscious just want comfort and pleasure and security and an ego-boost. People’s subconscious also likes labeling other people as bad and yourself as good, because that gives you an additional ego boost and gives you an excuse to not help or care about other suffering people.
What you might think of as spiritually more evolved people are people whose decisions are largely conscious and only a little bit motivated by fears and desires and their ego and their emotions and their subconscious. Whereas unevolved people make decisions that are only a little bit conscious and are primarily motivated by their emotions and their subconscious. So you can think of it as a spectrum.
Why have people not woken up as to what’s going on? Why do people still believe that the government cares about them and is trying to help them? Because most people are ruled by their emotions and subconscious, and the belief that is most comfortable is the belief that the government indeed is working for the people’s benefit. Even when it’s clearly not.
People being ruled by their subconscious also means: don’t be too quick to judge others who are in difficult situations that you have never been in. After all, you likely too are ruled at least partly by your subconscious and emotions, even if only to a small extent, and so you too may very well behave less than optimally if you were in that difficult situation. It’s easy to think you would do great if you were in a certain situation, but you can’t really know that unless you have been in that situation or a similar situation.
Also, if you take a certain action, don’t be too quick to believe the narrative that your rational mind creates to justify your action. Often that is just a false but pleasing and self-justifying story. Often the real reason why people act is some kind of self-serving emotional or subconscious or lizard-brain reason.
Some Earth people would now say that they’re simply rational actors who act based on facts and evidence and science. In today’s world, that doesn’t help nearly as much as you might hope, because you can nearly always find a few experts who will have the opinion that emotionally appeals to you. Therefore in practice, people who say they follow the science often just disregard scientists who say things that they emotionally don’t like, and hold up science that say things that they emotionally do like. Or they follow the mainstream media, which has done the process for them. So that doesn’t help a lot.
There are even several instances where there seems to be a scientific consensus, but the believed consensus is actually false. Or there actually is no consensus at all: the heretical scientists simply get deplatformed and censored and defunded.
Even when it doesn’t come to governments pressuring scientists to support the desired narrative, you have cases where selective industry funding and lobbying creates a lot of scientific research that supports whatever the industry wants supported
A lot of people are fundamentally unhappy and bored, and instead of looking for happiness inside themselves or finding some good ways to spend their time, some people try to find a partner to provide their happiness and entertainment for them. This usually doesn’t lead to a happy relationship, because few people can consistently make a person feel good who is fundamentally unhappy and bored. Not to mention that this effectively puts pressure on the other person to make two people happy and not just one. But of course, people will rarely admit that they’re unhappy and that they expect their partner to provide their happiness and entertainment for them, even when that’s often the case.
Or suppose you ask a man what kind of woman he wants to be in a relationship with. Make it anonymous, so that he knows that he doesn’t have to give a socially acceptable answer. He will probably still say something like: I want a kind, reasonably attractive woman with compatible values and a good character.
But suppose you then have the guy meet the woman who is exactly what he says he wants, and also a physically very attractive woman who clearly demonstrates that she is not a kind person. Likely the man will be more interested in dating the physically very attractive woman, despite what he just said. Most men say that they value good character and kindness and compatibility in their partner and things like that, but when push comes to shove, most men (not all) will instead choose a young, physically attractive woman with a slim waist and nice breasts or a nice ass. When push comes to shove, it’s usually a person’s emotions and subconscious that makes the decisions, not their rational mind.
Similarly, a woman will often say that it’s fine if her partner earns less than she does. And that is indeed her consciously held belief. But a lot of women — not all, but a lot — will actually lose attraction to and possibly dump their partner if indeed she starts earning more than he does. And then their mind produces a rationalization, a self-justifying story, that the reason for the breakup was something else than it actually was. But despite rationalizations, people usually act based on their emotions and their subconscious, not on their rational mind — and often the narratives that rational minds create are merely self-justifying stories.
With these examples, we see that most people don’t make actions based on their principles or based on their consciously held beliefs. Most people make decisions based on their emotions and their subconscious. Most people’s rational mind mostly just works to rationalize the decision that their emotions and their subconscious makes.
It’s useful to be aware of this, and to watch and evaluate your own behavior. Sure, you have a set of consciously held beliefs, but when push comes to shove, are those things what you actually act on? Remember, there’s always an excuse to be made. Rationalizations can always be formulated. But how do you actually act when push comes to shove? And don’t immediately create a nice-sounding and self-excusing narrative why you acted the way you acted. Just observe how you act, and if possible, observe what is going on inside you. Genuine observation is the first step.
And look, it’s okay. Everyone has their lizard brain, their emotions, their shallow preferences, their actions that are based on fear and insecurities and anxieties. Everyone gets jealous or greedy or superficial at some point in their lives. If you recognize these things in yourself, then that doesn’t make you lesser than other people. Other people have and do these things too. If you recognize this in yourself, that merely means that you are conscious of these things, while other people are not. And conscious people typically do a lot less damage and are a lot more capable of doing good and making conscious decisions than unconscious people are.
In fact, a big spiritual milestone is becoming aware enough of your own inner processes that you are able to consciously choose your actions, instead of just being led around by your emotions and your subconscious, as most people are. This may sound silly, but once you become aware enough, you will notice that most people on Earth are almost a bit like robots who are just controlled by and led around by their emotions and their subconscious, while not being aware of that at all. This is actually pretty disturbing once you first become aware of that. Though once the shock wears off, you can become a highly effective change-maker and influential thinker, because you’ll learn to look past the self-justifying narrative that people tell you and instead look at the emotional and often self-serving and irrational reasons why people actually act the way they do.
Of course, those other, unaware people are still you. If they suffer, you suffer, because they are you.
And don’t be too quick to say that it’s other people who are led around by their emotions and their subconscious, but never you. If you feel you feel that you are never being led around by your emotions and subconscious, then you probably are in fact being controlled by your emotions and your subconscious, and are currently believing “you are so rational” or “you are so spiritually evolved” story that your rational mind is feeding you.
Meanwhile, you probably are mostly making conscious choices if your view of yourself is that you have these shallow dating preferences, you have these copings mechanisms, you have these anxieties or emotional wounds that occasionally lead to those kinds of behaviors, but you know all these things and try to act as conscious as possible aside from this. If this is your view of yourself, you are likely more conscious and are less often being led around by your emotions and subconscious than most people are.
In other words, if you think you are always making conscious choices that are for the highest good of yourself and others, then you are probably not actually doing that. If instead you recognize which emotional wounds and sub-optimal patterns and coping mechanisms and anxieties and shallow preferences and so-called base desires you have, then you probably are largely making conscious choices.
Some people are cynics and they believe that everyone else is ruled by emotions and irrationality and unconscious patterns. Well, yes, that is mostly true for most people. But these cynics often also believe that they themselves are fully rational and fully aware, which is likely not true. It’s useful to be able to look at things through a cynical lens, to keep yourself grounded in reality, but cynicism isn’t the only useful lens to have. It’s not helpful or particularly evolved if a person only has access to the cynical worldview. It’s also much easier to criticize than it is to create something.
Cynics often have the attitude that they don’t care when other people suffer, because other people are stupid — but this is separation consciousness. Yes, some people are stupid, but they are still part of you. Not caring about their suffering is like not caring about the wound in your own leg. Thinking that other people are separate from you is believing in an illusion.
YOUR SHADOW
Next, let’s talk about your shadow. It is often defined as the unseen or unacknowledged part of you. Often people unconsciously choose to be unaware of certain things, because it is often a part of people that is considered ugly or unwelcome or bad. Or it is more advantageous for a person to not be aware of something. Therefore a person’s shadow is often their shadow because certain parts of themselves aren’t accepted by them.
While a person’s shadow often contains painful or awkward or unflattering things, it’s ultimately just the collection of unseen or unacknowledged things. A person with a bad self image might have in their shadow that they actually are more capable or more loved or more appreciated by the people around them than they realize.
From my perspective, a lot of lightworkers have in their shadow that they’re actually pretty amazing, because they’re more or even far more conscious than most people are, and it’s impressive that they achieved that while on Earth. If the lightworker doesn’t fully acknowledge or see that, perhaps because they’ve been trained as a child or trained by society to always look at the negative and that it’s arrogant to give themselves a compliment, then a person may have in their shadow that they’re actually pretty awesome.
Let’s look at some other examples of shadows. In the previous examples, one part of a person’s shadow might be their actual dating preferences (a man prioritizing physical attractiveness in his partners), as opposed to what the person thinks their dating preferences are.
Your shadow is also frequently things that aren’t socially acceptable, and so you’ve pushed those parts of you away so much that you’re no longer aware of them. For example, a gay man who grows up in a society that doesn’t tolerate homosexuality might genuinely repress his sexuality so much that he stops being aware that he is homosexual, and it may become part of his shadow.
Or a person might feel angry towards their parents, but that’s not very socially acceptable and that wasn’t welcome when the person was young, and so the person might repress those emotions to such an extent that they’re not even aware of their anger towards their parents. It is actually quite common for people to be either angry at their parents, or to have unresolved pain or grief about their youth, and for those things to be so repressed that they’re not even consciously aware of it anymore. This too can become part of the shadow.
Or a spiritual person might tell themselves that they’re so advanced that they no longer want or need sex. If however their actual yet suppressed truth is that they still desire sex, then that can become part of the shadow.
And this can lead to a situation where a spiritual teacher sexually mistreats his pupils, sometimes even convincing himself that what he’s doing is for some kind of noble spiritual purpose. Now, yes, sex can lead to spiritual progression, but of course both people have to freely consent to sex at a bare minimum, which doesn’t always happen if the guru says to the student that they will now sleep together, for her spiritual benefit of course.
People’s shadows can also simply hold them back from growing spiritually or leading a happier life or having better relationships (whether romantic or not). People with relatively large shadows manipulate more often, for example, and manipulating others isn’t a path that will ultimately make a person happy. Believe me.
So, what can you do about your shadow?
Well, almost everyone has a shadow, so it’s more about shrinking it or becoming conscious about it and observing it than it is about eliminating it completely. Even people like Tunia and Hakann have shadows. For example, Hakann’s shadow is that he secretly loves the color pink, but he doesn’t want to admit that because he feels he’s too manly and too commandery for that. True story.
Okay, I’m making that up.
To be honest, part of my shadow is that I sometimes feel inadequate when I’m around people like Hakann, whom I occasionally work with. I really don’t like admitting that, and Hakann is not doing anything to make me feel inferior or tear me down. But he just always seems to know what to do, and life just seems so effortless and easy for him, and life really isn’t like that for me. At all.
I feel like I work very hard to be a good person, to be worth something and to make my life have some meaning. And yet I feel that he’s at least twice the person that I am. And I feel like I won’t ever be able to catch up to him. I feel that he will always be a better person than I am, while I will always remain not quite good enough.
So. That was uncomfortable and embarrassing.
But what I just did is shrink my own shadow. I acknowledged and admitted something to myself, and now it’s no longer part of my shadow. The emotions are still there, but now it’s something I’m conscious about, hence it’s no longer part of my shadow.
You don’t even necessarily need to admit it publicly, even just admitting something to yourself shrinks your shadow. Admitting it publicly can help, but isn’t necessary.
If you feel the urge to deflect some remark that someone made, or to attack someone else personally, then you might want to check if there’s something in your own shadow that is nudging you to do that.
If you’re around toxic people, and a conversation doesn’t resolve that, it can help for your shadow to seek out better company. People often choose to be willfully blind towards a part of themselves if that part of them won’t be accepted by the people around them.
For my part, I would like to tell you that you are amazing, and that you are already and inherently good enough. Therefore even if you admit to yourself that you have certain thoughts or emotions or preferences that some might view as ugly, even then you are still fully worthy of love. You are good enough, all of you, including the parts of you that you might find harder to love. All of you is welcome from my perspective, and all of you is loved.
Therefore you are safe to admit that you may have parts or aspects of yourself that you previously didn’t want to admit to having.
All your thoughts and emotions and all parts of you are welcome, from my perspective. You are good enough, as you are — all of you is. I love you.
If you want, you can put a note somewhere in your house saying: “what is my actual reason for doing this?” That way you can remind yourself to ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing — because the actual reason might not be the reason that your rational mind tells you it is. Or you can agree with a friend to occasionally ask each other this question: “what is your actual reason for doing this?”
If you ask this to a friend, try to ask it in a curious way and not in a hostile or lecturing way or in an “I already understand you better than you understand yourself” kind of way. If they give you a reason that you think is nonsense (which may very well happen), then let them be — perhaps you’ve planted a seed. Or perhaps not, perhaps they’ve completely rejected the gift that you tried to give them, but then that’s their choice.
Finally, let’s do an exercise to shrink our shadow. I already gave an example of how I felt with regards to Hakann. You are invited to share your answers to the following questions in the comment section. You can use a fake name if you want anonymity:
1) how are you really doing? I’m not looking for the polite or for the socially acceptable answer, I’m curious how you are really doing.
2) if you get too stressed out, then what is your coping mechanism? Everyone has at least one, and it’s not even necessarily something unhealthy — it might also be reading a book or taking a walk. Then again, I’m not judging people for having an unhealthy coping mechanism such as alcohol, because I know life on Earth is really tough. So, what is your coping mechanism?
3) what do you currently want or desire? This can be internal or external. Again, feel free to give the real answer. There’s probably at least one part of you that wants something shallow, and it’s fine to acknowledge that too. The point is shrinking our shadow, after all.
4) what are your fears for the future?
5) what are your hopes for the future?
With all my love,
R’Kok
