Give Yourself Permission to not Spend Time on Certain Things
Tunia via channel A. S.
Posted on August 24, 2024
My dearest brothers and sisters,
This is Tunia speaking. I love you so very much.
Your society pulls you in many different directions. You’re supposed to have a great career, and also have a great relationship, and have children, and have a nice house and lots of possessions, and have a rich social life, and do volunteer work, and have hobbies, and read and travel, and keep up with politics and current news and have opinions about those things, and keep up with technology, and do spiritual work, and cook healthy food, and exercise, and discover your true self and take action to bring out and express that side of you, and be creative and artistic, and possibly you should start your own company or at least do some side activity to make more money, and actually you should find some way to become financially independent, and then of course you need to do chores like cleaning and getting groceries, and if old pain comes up then you should do something with that, et cetera, et cetera.
Meanwhile, many of you have very little support or community to fall back on, and the Earth environment is very unsupportive and harsh in general.
So it’s no wonder that many of you feel pulled in too many directions, or feel that the weekend is way too short and that you don’t have nearly enough free time.
Indeed, the work week on Earth is too long. In the not too distant future, you will likely have to spend less time on work and chores, and will have more time for yourself.
In the here and now however, many of you are still in the situation where you simply don’t have the time and energy to do all the things you want to and need to spend time on.
Usually, that leads to one of the following things:
– someone tries to do too many things at once. As a result, important things get done poorly or people get neglected, and for example their partner may feel taken for granted and underappreciated. Or their child might not receive the love and attention they deserve.
– or the person does all the visible and surface-level things, but then completely fails to do less visible things. So for example, this is the person with the nice, big house, who has for decades failed to do any spiritual or psychological work because they were spending all their time engaging with the external world. Perhaps this person is so used to always being busy that they’re unable to sit still without any stimulation.for even just a few minutes.
– or the person uses coping mechanisms or substances or drugs to cope with their overly full calendars.
– or this can lead to a burnout or to other psychological problems.
Now in some cases, people have already optimized their life as much as possible. And either they have a great life, or their calendar is overly full but it genuinely can’t be helped, because nearly all their time and energy goes to their job and family and chores and they can’t just abandon one of those things.
On the other hand, in some cases people are too stuck in old habits, or they’re being held back by fear. Or people are too affected by society telling them what they should do, even though the list of things that society tells people to do is so long that it’s impossible to fit everything into the calendar of an average person. It’s an inherently unfair expectation.
Moreover, this current life is just one trip your soul is taking. You don’t need to cram everything into this life, because this life is just one of many.
It’s fine to simply not do certain things that society tells you to do, if you genuinely don’t feel drawn to it and it’s not just resistance on your part against that activity.
You can become a new you. You just have to choose it — and then possibly work through any resistance or limiting beliefs or old pain that might come up. But still, you can always choose to become a better and perhaps happier or more relaxed version of yourself.
Hence, I am inviting you to give yourself permission to live your authentic life, no matter what society tells you.
Here’s a brief pause in this message so that you can say that sentence to yourself, if you wish: “I am giving myself permission to live my authentic life.”
(pause)
And then feel into that energy.
(pause)
Next up, I would like to invite you to:
– make a list of the things that you have to do
– make a list of the things that are of critical importance to you
– make a list of the things that you would like to do, but you’re okay with not doing them if you lack the time or energy for them.
So for example, a list of the things you have to do might be: your job, mandatory chores, taking care of your children, et cetera. Now in some cases it would be best for people if they radically reconfigured their life or lifestyle. Or in other cases, you can save some time and energy here by either making some smart optimizations or by buying a dishwasher for example. But I understand that many people either don’t have the money for that or that people have already optimized their time in this way.
Next up, the things that are of critical importance to you. And I would like to invite you to also include subtle things, such as: having some time with no stimulation (which is actually very important), for example during a walk in nature or just before bed. Also, having enough quality time with loved ones. Enough time for spiritual practice. Time to observe or otherwise work with old pain if it comes up. At least a certain amount of time to do things you enjoy, because you’re not a machine, you can’t always be productive.
I want to invite you to not label everything as being of critical importance. After all, part of the point of this message is inviting you to not just automatically keep doing all the things that society tells you to do, or that you’re used to doing .
If you label everything as being of critical importance, then effectively you’re labeling nothing as being of critical importance.
And also, be realistic. If you have a lot of responsibilities, it’s better to schedule relatively short meditation sessions that you can actually do daily, rather than schedule long meditation sessions that in practice you won’t have the time or energy for.
Once you’ve made a habit out of meditation briefly every day, you can always extend that meditation time later if you wish.
And finally, you can make the third list, which is a list of things that you would like to do but it’s okay if you skip them.
So, if you want, feel free to make these three lists before continuing this message: what you need to do, what’s of critical importance to you, and what you like to do but it’s okay if you skip them.
Here’s another brief pause so that you can do this, if you want.
Now, you can see if there are things that you’re currently spending significant time on that aren’t in your “mandatory” or “of critical importance” categories.
For instance, you might be spending quite some time consuming news or political commentary, even though you probably haven’t labeled that as being of critical importance. I’m not saying that you should never catch up with news ever, but it might not be of critical importance to you to keep up with all the latest political outrages. That outrageous thing the other political side has just said, probably is going to be forgotten a month from now anyway. It’s probably not critical to the wellbeing of you or the world that you keep up with all the latest political twists and turns.
If you feel yourself rationally agreeing with this, but also facing some inner resistance, then it might be good to observe what exactly that resistance is, and what personal need of yours might be met through following politics closely. And then, perhaps you can directly work to heal that wound, or to meet that need in some other way.
Also, you might be spending more time on social media than you’ve labeled as being of critical importance. Perhaps you haven’t labeled social media as being of critical importance to you at all, or perhaps you’ve only labeled following a handful of specific people as being of critical importance to you. In that latter case, you can consider reducing your social media time to just following those specific people.
Now, I’m not saying that you should always be productive and that you should never give yourself free time. That just sounds exhausting. I’m all in favor of people allowing themselves to have free time. I just think that in most cases people can relax in ways that are more nourishing to them than being on social media.
Even if you’re tired, you may find that reading a fun fiction book or calling a friend will leave you feeling better than spending time on social media. Even watching tv or playing video games may leave you feeling better than being on social media.
Some people feel that they should always be productive (which is another thing that most likely comes from your society and doesn’t come from your own soul). But even people who feel that, most likely don’t have the energy to actually be productive all day. And if someone in practice is going to spend three hours on non-productive things anyway, then they might as well spend that time doing things they actually enjoy, rather than spending that time on social media.
Of course, these are just examples. People are different, and ultimately it’s up to you to decide what you do and don’t want to spend time on.
I know that many people are already managing their time well, life is just hard. And I very much empathize. Still, I hope that this message was beneficial to some of you.
I love you so very much. And in the future, you will most likely have more ease and leisure in your lives.
Your star sister,
Tunia
For Era of Light
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