Does He Know How to Listen?

Does He Know How to Listen?

By Steve Beckow

Posted on July 24, 2024

Does he know how to listen? Credit: Coursera

I was talking to a young friend the other day who may be entering a new relationship.

I imagined her asking me what she should look for in a relationship.

I had no problem answering that question. From my personal perspective?

Does he know how to listen?

If he knows how to listen, and you do as well, you have a chance to escape the cycle of conflict, which most relationships fall into at some point. (1)

How does listening work? Let me focus on what decades ago I used to call “restorative” listening because that’s the crucial type of listening, in my view, in a relationship.

We’re wanting to escape the cycle of conflict and it calls for a more intensive form of listening than ordinarily.

First thing is you don’t listen for what you want to hear. You listen for what he wants to tell you. He speaks because he wants you to hear and understand something. What is it?

Listening is not about you. It’s not about you reviewing what you just said to see how you did, when he’s speaking.

It’s not about you planning what you’ll say next. It’s not a pit stop where you change your tires while you get your next thought.

And it certainly isn’t about you interrupting his train of thought or walking away with the microphone. It takes work and concentration on our part to be the listener.

If anything it’s blue-sky stillness of mind into which is gathered all he says and spread out on the table – for him to see.

Second, moderate feedback is good.  It shows you’re listening. “You seem to feel sad. I hear the urgency of it. It sounds disturbing.” And then let it go.

Exception: It may further the process for you, at some point, to offer just a short insight about yourself (“I do that too”) to show you have an ante in the game. Be brief and then yield the microphone.

Third, listening is about you getting the real message that the speaker wants you to get. Sometimes that message – well, often, I think – is conveyed in or modified by gestures, inflection, mannerisms, etc.

The words may be different accompanied by different inflections. You need to “hear” everything to understand what the speaker is wanting you to get.

Fourth, treat everything he says as a chapter heading and unfold it. Don’t be surprised if he repeats the telling. The first time is for the story. The second time is for how he feels, now having seen the full story.

***

What’s the overall objective of listening of the kind I’m describing? It’s to give him the opportunity to put everything on the table and see what he’s doing and what barriers he’s meeting.

At some point he should have an “Aha!” and whatever troubled him will vanish. The truth will have set him free. (2)

This kind of listening should keep us out of the cycle of conflict if used lovingly, without judgment, and without undue interruption or redirection. It defuses. It satisfies. But it’s rare in our society.

It works provided the issues that are being discussed are solvable and the two people want a solution.

I always assume that the speaker knows what he needs. He just hasn’t been able to find anyone who will help by purely listening.

***

After G/NESARA (3) the remnants of a paradigm of a woman needing to rely on a man for her financial wellbeing will disappear. Poof! Women will have a guaranteed means of survival.

Then relationships may reflect the person’s pure interests and last as long as the two remain interested. There won’t be a need for marriage. They do not marry in heaven, remember? (4)

There’s no need for it. (5)

Footnotes

(1) See:

• There is No Greater Gift than Listening Vol. 1. What Is Listening?
• There is No Greater Gift than Listening Vol. 2. How to Listen
• There is No Greater Gift than Listening Vol. 3. Leaving the Cycle of Conflict

Cycle of Conflict:

We go around and around this cycle, our feelings for the other eroding a little more as we go, until we drop or leave. In a word? “Listening” is what’s missing. Oh, and love.

(2) And you can use the truth to guide you. If he is getting freer and freer of tension, the truth is being spoken. Barring venting, which is a good thing, if he’s getting more and more ornery, chances are there’s something not being said here.

Use the truth and his release as your guide in knowing what to listen to and what to gently inquire into (if it’s appropriate; don’t shanghai his share).

(2)  The Global/National Economic Security and Reformation Act, mandating a new economic order based on fairness, compassion, and universality.

See What’s Next?
 Vol. 5: G/NESARA at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Whats-Next-5-2.pdf

(3) For when they shall rise from the dead [i.e., ascend]
they neither marry
nor are given in marriage;
but are as the angels
which are in heaven.
(Mark 12:25.)

(4) There are no reasons for marriage in the higher dimensions. There are no threats for which we need to bind together and bond. One doesn’t face a poverty-stricken old age.

I used to know about child-rearing on the higher planes, but I’ve forgotten and haven’t written on it.

People come together and part as they please, for as long as it rewards them. What makes all this possible is the love which we’ll also experience one day soon. If we felt  that love for a moment, all would make sense.

Everything about family, sexuality, etc., is different in the higher dimensions.

There’s a book waiting to be written. The closest I’ve come to it is New Maps of Heaven at https://goldengaiadb.com/index.php?title=New_Maps_of_Heaven

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

Who Was That Masked Man?

Who Was That Masked Man?

By Steve Beckow

Posted on June 10, 2024

Closest i can come to my Universal Self

I keep going back and forth, debating whether I should share this.

On the one hand, I feel blocked until I do. And on the other hand, I get signals that it’s wanted. So as part of an Ascension ethnography….

I have to preserve confidentiality so let’s just say that, after a long time of being patient (I say, self-servingly), I put my foot down the other day. When interrupted once too often, I said, in a Moses-like voice, “Let me SPEAK.”

Wooo-wheeee! So far so good. Maybe hurt feelings but message received.

But then it took an unexpected turn. As if in response to the unasked question. (who are you to speak to me like that?), for perhaps 1-2 seconds, a very much deeper “me” looked out through my eyes in a silent, fixed, and stable glare. That’s who I am. (And who you are too.) And then it vanished.

Never mind hurt feelings and message received. There was a shift in relationship brought about by whatever it was that just happened.

Years … OK, decades … ago, I would have said I just “arrived” in my life. That’d be a growth-movement view of the matter. We knew nothing of a Universal Self.

But, no, something much more expanded than myself just took the microphone for an instant, delivered its message, and then disappeared.

I was so happy to see what arose out of it that I never again mentioned the incident. I didn’t want to spoil this one. I probably will never mention it just in case.

It showed me the impact of committed speaking, its power magnified by not being overly attached to anything. I’ll have to revise my writings on the cycle of conflict to include committed speaking as another way out of the cycle.

***

All the questions it raises!

Who was that masked man? Who just looked out through my eyes for a brief instant?

I’ve experienced myself being inside my body and looking out through my own eyes as if they were windows. (1) But never have I experienced someone else arise, while I’m there, and take the periscope, so to speak.

Yes, an unknown energy joined me once inside my body and we merged. (2) And I also merged with my Universal Self once. (3) But, again, no one has taken the microphone till now.

In this present circumstance, the energy stayed so briefly that I didn’t have time to enjoy it. But its “influence” was that of a natural nobility. Its energy resonated with that of my Universal Self.

What does it mean? Is it just another one-off experience? Or are our angelic capabilities beginning to show through? (4) Is the Universal Self drawing closer and even peeking in, from time to time?

I certainly hope so! I was totally enraptured with the way I felt at the moment of its manifestation.

Footnotes

(1)  See “Mapping a Possible Soul Merge” in An Ascension Ethnography at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/An-Ascension-Ethnography-8.pdf .

(2) “‘Is This What You’re Looking for?’ – Part 1/2, August 21, 2017, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2017/08/21/289210/.

(3) Loc. cit.

(4) Archangel Michael: The awareness, when you choose to acknowledge it, and the, shall we call it, the angelic abilities, are present in the human race, in the individual human form at this time. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading witth Steve Beckow through Linda Dillon, Sept. 16, 2020.)

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

The Way In is the Way Out

The Way In is the Way Out

By Steve Beckow

Posted on April 17, 2024

I received a dressing down two days ago, which was well deserved, which I acknowledged. However, the occasion presented a wonderful opportunity to look at myself and I’ve been doing that ever since.

It’s been very rewarding.

There’s no way I could say what happened without being egregiously self-serving.

I complained at an establishment and got push-back instead.  I was behaving from entitlement.

I decided to really use the occasion to see what it had to teach me.

I heard – and hear – in myself a vocal tone that is and was not right on beam. It was edgy, potentially hostile.  I then recalled that I’m ever on the watch for villains, tracing back to my Dad, the back of whose hand one could never predict.

Never let your guard down, he’d say to me. With him, by age seven, I never did.

You can hear it in my voice. Not like I was aware of it until today.

***

By the law of attraction I drew  someone to me who would mirror me, someone who had as much of a chip on her shoulder as I did.  AND she was the manager (read: Dad, teacher, school principal).

For me, the matter quickly became: How far am I willing to take things? I was not willing to take things any farther. This was not my fight. Not the hill I choose to die on.

But it told me so much about the cycle of conflict, I am down-on-my-knees grateful.

(A) First of all, it showed me that like attracts like. This person facing me was a mirror image of me in some situations.

But it’s never just one universal law that’s operating at a time. It’s all of them.

(B) For instance, the law of karma is operating as well: we reap what we sow; what goes around comes around. I’m meeting my karma, my reflection.

(C) Out of it, I came to see my act as a rescuer and protector. I couldn’t protect Mom when I was 7. I couldn’t save Mom from dying in a housefire when I was 22. Not going to let that one happen again.

I’ve been rescuing and protecting women – and metaphorically chasing firetrucks – ever since.

The rescuing and protecting is neither here nor there.  The Coast Guard does it all the time.  It’s my relationship to what I’m doing that remains unseen, unquestioned.

In common speech we say I’m “run by” a need to rescue and protect.  When triggered, I switch into my resisting, rescuing and protecting persona without blinking an eye. (1)

I could get a job in resisting, rescuing, or protecting. Then I’d be right in alignment with my environment and assignment. Otherwise it’s not a socially productive act.

***

Another thing I noticed was that our bodies after a time mirror our attitude. But I didn’t just get it as a passing idea. I experienced and “got” it.

For example, you can see my skepticism mirrored in my arched left eyebrow. I’m saying, “show me.” Vancouver Sun journalist Alan Fotheringham once said, by age forty, we’re responsible for our own face. You can see large elements of my history in my arched left eyebrow, most visible when I’m listening to someone.

If we’re to understand and escape the cycle of conflict – you and me – we’re going to have to get to know ourselves.

As Sufi sages have said, we don’t become a knower of God (seeming to be out there), until and unless we become a knower of the self/Self (in here).

The way in is the way out.

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Download There is No Greater Gift than Listening – Vol. 3. Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here: https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/There-is-No-Greater-Gift-than-Listening-V3-Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-R9-.pdf

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Footnotes

(1) Remember the silver lining behind a vasana. Now we’re doing what we do automatically; what Werner Erhard called “at effect.” Later, when we see and complete our vasana, we’ll still be left with the skills we gained but we’ll now be, in Werner’s terms, “at cause” with the vasana.

I will still be a rescuer and protector. That has to be part of my mission or I wouldn’t have scripted domestic abuse into my soul contract. But I will now be at cause – that is, at choice with it – rather than being at effect – that is, run by it.

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

 

 

Making and Keeping Promises

Pre-Requisite to Exiting the Cycle of Conflict:

Making and Keeping Promises

By Steve Beckow

Posted on April 12, 2024

I’ve felt for a very long time that it’s unfortunate that we don’t have more widely disseminated approaches to everyday relationship conflict.

Of course I’m not in a relationship so I’m ignorant of current breakthroughs in that field.

I’m offering the analyses that cluster around the notion of “cycle of conflict” as a door in to exiting these repetitive arguments we have that are the major cause, in my view, of relationship breakdown.

And I mean any kind of relationship – working with, living with, or loving.

Anyone who’s gotten themselves into one needs to find a way out. Just allowing it to happen time after time after time weakens the bonds of connectedness and turns people against each other. It’s one repetitive activity that people usually don’t want to be part of but cannot find a way out. And it’s one that gets worse over time, especially with ordinarily mild-mannered people.

At the basis of it is fear. Father left when I was born. Mother died in a housefire. No one paid attention to me. No one listened to me.

So, beginning now, I’d like to suggest ways out of the cycle. The first one, today, is not only a way out but also a pre-requisite to engaging together in leaving the cycle. That is making and keeping promises.

I’m going to make you breakfast on Easter Sunday. “Promise?” I promise.

In the cycle of conflict, we often do what we want. We may not take account of others. We fear we won’t get what we want and so we’ve created an act, image, or persona that helps us get what we want it.

One element of that act can be: Don’t make any promises. Don’t let anyone pin you down. It’s dangerous.

Time to turn that one around. Not having a strong or dependable word is a pre-requisite for getting out of the cycle (and I’m in and out of it too). We have to be able to depend on you to do what you say or we have no basis for working together.

And making and keeping promises is also the first step in exiting the cycle of conflict.

I promise to make you dinner Easter Sunday by 10:00. How do you like your eggs?

Once we make and keep promises, we now have a basis for working together.

I’m going to need to do this impressionistically, moving from one step in the process to another.

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Download There is no Greater Gift than Listening V3. Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here:  https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/There-is-No-Greater-Gift-than-Listening-V3-Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-R4.pdf

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

 

 

Reconciliation an Important Thing, But Not THE Important Thing

Reconciliation an Important Thing, But Not THE Important Thing

By Steve Beckow

Posted on April 10, 2024

One of the mistakes the friends and family of folks caught in a cycle of conflict often make is to mistake reconciliation – getting back together (step 8) – as a resolution of the conflict.

We reconcile and they all applaud, as if reconciliation is THE most important thing.

No, if nothing ever changes, then exiting the cycle of conflict is THE most important thing and reconciliation – if nothing ever changes – will likely not prove to be the enduring answer.

The fact that “nothing ever changes” seems to be one of the chief features of the cycle.

The impact of getting back together again and discovering, when the disagreements begin again, that nothing has changed can be demoralizing.

And it can lead to an increase in anger because we feel that we’re not being heard, acknowledged, or seen to; we’re being ignored.

“What’s the use?” arises.  We move further and further into disappointment and resentment – which cuts us off from any real love we may feel. Thus, at exactly a time when love is needed, our anger cuts us off from the source of it in our own heart.

I know what real love is. I get it from my heart and, to a lesser degree, from others. And I know that, when we lower our vibration by resenting, we can’t reach that love any longer.

So a second matter in setting out to exit the cycle of conflict is not to falsely evaluate the reconciliation. It’s a second chance at joining together and working out our relationship patterns so that conflict is minimized while love is maximized. But it isn’t the final victory unto itself.

(To be continued.)

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

 

 

Looking into the Cycle of Conflict

Looking into the Cycle of Conflict

“Here We Go Again”

By Steve Beckow

Posted on April 8, 2024

A cycle of conflict is a repetitive argument whose constituents are complaints that go ignored or otherwise unattended to.

If serious enough and left undealt with, it can escalate in intensity while the feelings for one another may decrease proportionately, until the couple separates.

It’s my current belief that, unless people find a way out of a cycle of conflict, which seems to always escalate, they, sooner or later, will see their relationship fail.

And the longer the conflict goes on, the worse they’ll feel about each other when they do separate.

Exiting the cycle doesn’t mean leaving the person. It means exiting the pattern of behavior.

The cycle usually escalates because our frustration rises over time at not being heard or not having our demands met or in some cases acknowledged. Anger builds and, if it has nowhere to go, when triggered, we explode.

So I’d like to keep pressing into the subject because for us to understand, recognize, and exit the cycle of conflict would be, I think, an immense step forward for Planet Earth in the area of relationships.

*****

I’d like to start by sharing two misconceptions.

The first occurs when we explode. We explode because there’s so much water behind the dam that we can’t easily hold it back. A little thing becomes a big thing and sets us off.

The misconception on the other person’s part is that it’s the present incident that caused the blow-up (“What’s the big deal?”) when it’s the pressure of the water behind the dam.

A second misconception is our misplaced emphasis on reconciliation. When the couple gets back together again, we rejoice.

But if nothing has changed, all the same issues will still be there. And so disagreements likely begin again. If the communication is not cooperative and transparent, withholds pile up; and then an explosion occurs. Here we go again.

*****

The first thing we need to do to exit the cycle of conflict is to know what it is. The diagram at the top of the page illustrates it.

Let me illustrate the cycle from my family. Let me start as a brief honeymoon ensues.

The family have gotten back together again after one of our regular fights and we’re having an all-too-brief honeymoon.

We plan to travel to Bellingham, across the border, to celebrate our reuniting. But, having left the house and travelled across town, Dad or Mom remember they forgot their passport.

Perhaps something about it makes it egregious: say, Mom told Dad to remember to bring it. Whatever the occasion, the pot was already full and these people don’t discuss how to get out of the trap.

Instead they “start in” blaming each other. “You always do this. You never do that. Last week you did this. Last year you did that.” And away they go.

How serious it is depends on who raises their voice the loudest. It’s purely law of the jungle in here, held in sway by reflecting on whether one really wants to cause the death of the relationship.

Dad had his social position to consider. Mom had the fate of a “detached pirate” (divorced woman) in the society of the times to reflect on. And then there’s the children….

However I can tell you that the cycle intensified in my family until it reached the stage where Dad came at Mom with a knife. My older brother, who was a football player, got the knife out of Dad’s hand and pushed Dad down the stairs to the basement. That was the end of that.

This build-up of angry energy over time, in a man (or woman), by the way, who was regarded as mild-mannered otherwise, is a not an uncommon feature of the cycle of conflict.

*****

I can think of very few relationships where the two are trapped in the cycle of conflict and the relationship has survived. The willingness to do the work necessary to get out of it so often just doesn’t seem to be there.

After Ascension, communication will be easy and straightforward. If we use words at all, we’ll be immersed in an atmosphere of such love that negative thoughts will not occur to us and, if they did, we’d be like teflon from which they roll off effortlessly.

So it’s just the time between now and then that we have to worry about.

Let me stop here and pick up in another article.

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Download There is no Greater Gift than Listening V3. Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here:  https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/There-is-No-Greater-Gift-than-Listening-V3-Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-R4.pdf

Steve Beckow

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There is No Greater Gift than Listening -3 Leaving the Cycle of Conflict

There is No Greater Gift than Listening 

Vol. 3 Leaving the Cycle of Conflict

By Steve Beckow

Posted on March 30, 2024

Credit: verywell.com

I’m reissuing Leaving the Cycle of Conflict as a volume in the There is No Greater Gift than Listening series.

Let me post one of my favorite chapters from that book.

I have to say that the cycle of conflict, in my estimation, is the greatest affliction of relationship that I’m aware of and it’s a hidden killer because very few people see what they’re doing.

Bringing this pattern of behavior to public attention fulfills a childhood promise to myself. I wanted the world to know about the domestic abuse happening in my home. And now it does.

And here’s the solution – in this and the other books on listening. The parts I haven’t covered I know others will.

Notice when you read it:  how people rejoice when a couple gets back together again but no one focuses on what’s causing the splits; how we “become” our parents; and how we never seem to learn and nothing seems to change.

 

I was talking yesterday about the cycle of conflict and breaking free from it. Let me pick up there again and start with some background.

Carousel of Tears

I spent my first fourteen formative years on this carousel of tears I call a cycle of conflict.

It was a never-ending loop which usually ended in divorce. I’ve seen very few people trapped in the cycle of conflict who emerged with their relationship intact. And they don’t know why because they “always got back together again.”

Back then, we not only had no insights into how to end the conflict; we couldn’t even see its cyclical nature.

Becoming Our Parents

Having seen the cost to my family of the cycle of conflict, I made myself a promise that I would stop the family inheritance, the intergenerational transfer that Michael once called “legacy behavior.”

But I mentioned to you earlier that the legacy behavior was the only movie I had in my head.

When we “become our Father,” what really is happening is that we’re reaching back into our memory banks and bringing forward as our mode of behavior the only movie all of us have – what our Dad or Mom did.

And we don’t see what we’re doing for the same reason we may not pay attention to what’s happening in our world. We’re busy doing other things.

That’s how we become our parent.

Just that one matter alone – not becoming our parents – takes a high degree of awareness and an unwillingness to respond automatically in order to break the pattern. And, no, I’m still down here in the trenches on these matters, working away with everyone else.

Never Seem to Learn and Nothing Changes

Another feature of the cycle of conflict is that we never seem to learn. Instead, we seem to focus on and congratulate ourselves for getting back together again.

For me, getting back together again is a significant event but it’s not the significant event.

The significant event is recognizing that we’re caught in a cycle of conflict that only ever brings heartache and resolving to exit it.

So long as we fool ourselves that reconciliation is the big win, we may not do the work to break the cycle.

Everyone promises not to do it again and off we go, not communicating or communicating unproductively. The same issues arise. The frustration begins and is worse because we thought we had the issue handled. All it takes is a spark.

Is this not the theme of countless Hollywood movies?

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Download No Greater Gift than Listening V3 Leaving the Cycle of Conflict here: https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/There-is-No-Greater-Gift-than-Listening-V3-Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-R3.pdf

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“Right/Wrong Not a Way Out,” Aug. 19, 2023, at https://goldenageofgaia.com/2023/08/19/347152/

Steve Beckow

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“Nothing Ever Changes”

“Nothing Ever Changes”

By Steve Beckow

Posted on March 20, 2024

 

I’d like to return to the subject of exiting the cycle of conflict for a moment to introduce the notion of a nuclear issue.

In a full-blown cycle of conflict, we may reach the conclusion that “nothing ever changes.”

When we conclude that, the issue that doesn’t change may go nuclear.

A “nuclear issue” is an issue that won’t go away and that gets met with an inadequate response, again and again and again, until the triggered person explodes.

Any issue can become nuclear if important enough and disregarded often enough.

I discovered in my life, for instance, that I had nuclear issues around silence and drunkenness. If I’m interrupted often enough, I reach a point where I can’t write. And after a while of being unable to create a quiet space for myself to write, I can get annoyed, irritated, angry and then go nuclear.

We only get so many passes, going nuclear, before the relationship reaches disdain and falls apart.

The second trigger is a person drunk and rattling on. It reminds me of my Mother on sleeping pills.

She finally died with ten sleeping pills in her stomach. The house burned down from a lit cigarette. Drunk people remind me of that.

Those are two of my relationship sticking points.

The longer we go repeating ourselves day after day on an issue, the higher the tension rises, until we choose to explode in the face of a triggering event.

The longer we go repeating ourselves day after day on an issue, the higher the tension rises, until we choose to explode in the face of a triggering event.

Our opposite number usually scratches their head in disbelief. What was so triggering about that comment? But it’s a build-up rather than a one-off comment. We seldom acknowledge or “get” this.

What causes it to explode is that “nothing ever changes” in – I’m willing to believe – a vast number of relationships.

One big reason for this situation is our failure to master listening skills, which I’ve discussed elsewhere. (1)

The divorce rate, the last time I looked, was very high and I assert that this high rate reflects the inability or unwillingness to leave this abusive cycle.

I also think we’ll find this cycle operating throughout international “diplomacy.” It’s a learned and programmed response to any objectionable or threatening situation, I believe.

As I’ve said previously, people applaud the two estranged people getting back together again whereas they should, rather, be encouraging them to create productive communication and eliminate the nuclear issues.

Whether or not the couple, as a couple, focus in on the cycle, the individual must eliminate it from their own life.   The tensions, anger, and disappointment of living in that cycle are not worth being called a “life.”

We don’t teach relationship, parenting, communication, etc., in school. Surely these are the most necessary of skills to have.

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Download here: https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-25.pdf

Footnotes

(1) On that subject, see:

• Are You Listening? at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Are-You-Listening-R5.pdf
• A Manual for Listeners at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/A-Manual-for-Listeners-R3.pdf
  The Value of Listening at https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/The-Value-of-Listening-3.pdf

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

 

 

Taking the Cycle of Conflict Out of International Relations

Taking the Cycle of Conflict Out of International Relations

by Steve Beckow

Posted on February 19, 2024

 

How are our international relations, at this time of crisis and chaos, the same as the personal cycle of conflict?

Well, one resemblance is in the outcome: Nothing ever changes.

The situation, these days I’m sure you’ll agree, does not get better.

However we’re communicating, and receiving that communication, it is not working.

The complaint is made. The other partner accuses the partner who complained of the same thing. An argument ensues. A positive or negative outcome is agreed to. And then … nothing ever changes.

I notice about myself that an issue becomes nuclear, hot-button if I feel I’ve made the same request a thousand times. An example of a request: “I need quiet to write” or “Please don’t tell me what to do.” Once I reach my upper limit of repetitions, I’m ready to tear the house down.

I just want the other person to be gone, to be swept away by some mysterious wind and my life to be back to before I met them.

One thing that amazed me about whoever this new and improved version of Putin is (1) is that his patience in the face of endless provocation is amazing. I don’t favor his form of governance, but I could work with the man Tucker interviewed.

A second resemblance between the cycle of conflict in our international affairs is that conflict repeatedly happens because of a breakdown in communication.

Either no one is discussing the situation or the conversations are not resulting in the complaints being acted upon. Addressed maybe, but not acted upon.  Putin addressed this in his interview.

A third resemblance is that we all clap our hands at events of secondary importance, and overlook the unresolved events of first importance. Russia and the U.S. got back together again! Yayayayayay!!!!

But, unto itself, that is not the event of primary importance. That event would be that American and Russian communications began working on complaints and that they began to get addressed – and acted upon.

Evidently that’s not happening. President Putin’s protests were ignored. Boom! Cycle of conflict begins. …

… Except Putin appears to be staying out of it, much to his credit. I can’t think of a member of the current American administration I might say that about. Especially as more and more about our leadership becomes known – Satanism, pedophilia, adrenochrome, murder, on and on.

When agreements aren’t acted upon, nothing gets done about issues. And talks going forward remain as deadlocked as any other talks they’ve had. So frustration begins to mount….

The long-term answer is as within, so without. We – all of us, individually and nationally – need to embrace the divine qualities and act from them. I can’t see a substitute or another way.

Everyone that I’ve seen acting from the divine qualities is part of the solution, rather than part of the problem. As Werner Erhard says, they do what works and what they do works.

I could spill a lot of ink on that subject but the bottom line would be: We need to embrace and act from the love, peace, and compassion that arises naturally in our beings from its source in the heart.

The rising lovelight vibrations coming at us from so many sources will provide a more final answer. Only those who do embrace the divine qualities will probably be able to withstand the more refined vibrations of the higher realms. (2)

SaLuSa called it a “time of separation.” Archangel Michael also discussed it. His discussion is interesting enough for me to locate it in its entirety to footnote 3.

The Bible compared the time of separation to the winnowing that takes place on the threshing floor.

Nothing final about it. They’ll catch the next bus. (4)

But we need to address the ways we’re communicating internationally and take the cycle of conflict out of them.

on that promise, that decision.

That does not mean that, yes, in the infinite and eternal existence of the Mother, she will wait forever because this is the unfoldment of her Plan. This is what the penetration with all of our voices into each and every one of you is about.

There will be those who choose to leave, to abandon their physical forms rather than ascend in physical form.

Steve: That is what you mean by separation – leave?

AAM: That is what I mean and I do not mean being spun off into an alternate world or Earth or Gaia or planet. I mean simply, abandoning the body, dying, leaving, and coming home. There is no penalty or shame or guilt. It is simply a decision.

But it is not the desire of the Mother that this [Ascension process] simply continue [forever] because what she also sees (what we all see) and what you’ve repeatedly said to us, even though we operate often in terms of eons rather than years, many of you are tired.

So we do not wish for those who have been stalwart and continue and practice fortitude and persistence along with love to reach the point where they abandon their bodies. And you are seeing that in many.

Steve: I can think of one person in particular that seems to be thinking of abandoning their body, so yes.

AAM: When it comes to a decision point of whether the recalcitrant remain or whether those who are determined to fulfill the Mother’s dream remain, make no mistake about it. Those who have been in the truth of their heart and service will be victorious. I cannot be clearer than that. (Archangel Michael in a personal reading with Steve Beckow, July 22, 2016.)

(4) “All will surely realize God. All will be liberated. It may be that some get their meal in the morning, some at noon, and some in the evening; but none will go without food. All, without any exception, will certainly know the real Self.” (Paramahansa Ramakrishna in Swami Nikhilananda, trans., The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. New York: Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center, 1978; c1942, 818.)

To download Leaving the Cycle of Conflict, go here: 

• https://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-24.pdf
• https://goldenageofgaia.com/2024/02/19/352106/%E2%80%9Dhttps://goldenageofgaia.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Leaving-the-Cycle-of-Conflict-24.pdf%E2%80%9D

Steve Beckow

• goldenageofgaia.com/

 

Conflict Resolution, Consciousness Raising, Cycle of Conflict, Steve Beckow,

An Entry Point for Letting Go of Conflict

By Steve Beckow

Posted on November 28, 2023

 

I grumble but at least I’m not angry. That’s the other guy

Coming back from being an angry person, graduating to being a troll, and later a global policeman, I find conflict to be absolutely second nature to me.

In fact I love it. I love a good fight and am disappointed when the other person backs down … in the face of my enthusiasm to just get on with it.

My default is a kind of angry vigilance, epitomized by my Dad’s teachings, “You always gotta be on the lookout. You can’t let your guard down for a minute.”

And where this angry persona or mask gets called into action is around “I want/I don’t want.”

***

“I” am the driver of the scenario. The “I” and the level of consciousness change according to circumstances unknown to me.

But if you deny me something I want or force something  on me I don’t want, I respond with anger and we are, from my perspective, in conflict.

I used to think that my anger was a tool I used, to get what I wanted. But, no, now I see that it’s a reaction to something that I think stands in the way of me getting what I want or brings me what I don’t want.

I’m not using anger as a tool but as an expression of my dissatisfaction. I’m not even thinking of “getting what I want.” I’m wanting my displeasure to be known and recognized and that’s it.

Wanting to be heard I recognize as an early-childhood issue. Once heard, my anger dissolves.

I often wondered why, once I was heard, I no longer went after the item in question. I’d achieved my purpose, which was to be heard.

That’s a significant distinction for me and I want to spend time later digesting it.

Well, that’s one hurdle out of the way.

***

I see that one entry point to loosening this knot in consciousness is I can downgrade “I want” to a liking: “I like….”

I see I can reduce it further to a preference: “I’d prefer….”

I can reach a point of equanimity with it: “OK yes, OK no. I can take it or leave it. I’m fine with or without.”

Now I no longer feel the need to enter into conflict over anything.

Given that I want to eliminate conflict from my life before I begin my new life as a CEO, knowing there’s this way to eliminate it from my life shows up like great news.

The entry point and the approach that worked was to downgrade my “want” to a point of detachment so that there was nothing I was holding on to except love, truth, and peace, in the service of the Mother.

Steve Beckow 

• goldenageofgaia.com/