My dearest brothers and sisters,
This is Tunia speaking. I love you so very much.
Today I would like to discuss what I call chains of associations. Chains of associations are an unconscious series of associations that can lead a person to irrational and inaccurate conclusions, in a way where they may not even realize that they’re being irrational and inaccurate.
For example, let’s say that Tom has a friend and normally Tom’s friend calls him every month. But the friend didn’t call Tom last month.
Then Tom’s chain of association might be: my friend hasn’t called last month. That’s because he doesn’t want to talk to me. He doesn’t want to talk to me because he doesn’t like me. In fact, he has never liked me. And he doesn’t like me because he thinks I’m an unlovable awful person. And in fact he’s right, I am an unlovable awful person.
So as you can see, chains of associations can be a series of wildly inaccurate, fear-based assumptions that can lead people to conclusions that may be completely irrational and unjustified and fear-driven. Because perhaps the real reason why his friend hasn’t called is that the friend was just really busy, or something awful happened in the friend’s life and said friend is currently distracted.
And sure, it looks kind of silly if I spell it out like this. But likely at the moment itself, Tom probably doesn’t consciously observe every step of this chain of associations. Instead, Tom realizes his friend hasn’t called, and immediately Tom feels bad or feels insecure because his chain immediately and unconsciously jumps to the end point that he is unlovable. And so Tom feels bad, and perhaps engages a defense mechanism where he says “screw that guy, he’s not my friend.” Or perhaps Tom eats something unhealthy to numb the fear, or just pushes the anxiety down where it nonetheless continues to fester. Instead of, you know, Tom just picking up the phone himself and calling his friend.
If Tom was more conscious, he would either observe (parts of) this chain of associations. Or the chain of associations wouldn’t form at all and Tom would just think: “oh hey, my friend hasn’t called. I wonder why that is. Tonight I’ll call him myself and ask him how he’s doing.”
You can imagine that the average person forms these chains of associations many times every single day and is frequently led astray by them.
This is also why in past messages we have emphasized the importance of observation. How does your body feel? What are you actually seeing and hearing with your ears and eyes? And what emotions and assumptions and thoughts are arising in response to that?
What are the actual observations or facts, and what are assumptions or projections or strawmans?
Don’t just jump to conclusions — actually observe first.
These chains of associations can occur in pretty much any area of life. They also make political discussions harder and more unconscious.
For example, in the mind of some left-wingers, the statement “men commit more crimes” has a chain of associations that leads to: “saying this statement makes men behave better and makes women safer and is therefore a net good.” A discussion could be had if that’s actually true, but that is the chain of associations that some people on the left have.
Conversely, in the mind of some left-wingers, the statement “immigrants from wildly different cultures commit statistically more crimes” has a chain of associations that leads to: “saying this statement increases violence and bigotry and therefore is harmful.” Again, a discussion could be had if this is actually true. One could argue that such frank discussions lead to a better immigration policy which then leads to less violence and less prejudice and less economic hardship.
So because some people on the left have wildly different chains of associations, they’re fine with negatively stereotyping men, but not with negatively stereotyping immigrants from very different cultures. Which is inconsistent. But, that’s what the chains of associations say.
Note that it may not even enter the mind of some left-wingers that negatively stereotyping men can lead to violence or prejudice or unfair bias against men. I’m not saying that left-wingers rationally consider this idea, but then ultimately reject it. Instead, I’m saying that this idea may not even enter the mind of some left-wingers.
Why not? Well, it’s because most people on both political sides don’t actually rationally think things through. Instead they just get prepackaged chains of associations from others, and then they just fire up those chains over and over and over again, unconsciously jumping to the end point of the chains each time.
Which is why political debate often devolves into both sides throwing prepackaged slogans and gotchas at each other.
The right isn’t immune to this. For example, some right-wingers have a chain of associations that ties any struggling person to: “this person is lazy or made bad decisions, so in some ways it’s justified that they’re struggling. Also, the solution to their problem is just working harder and spending less money, that will fix their problems.” And, sure, in some cases this is completely true. But this isn’t always true.
Through consciousness work, through observing yourself and your thoughts and assumptions, you can free yourself from these chains of associations and become a more nuanced and more accurate thinker.
Good immigration policy can only be made by people who can hear the statement that immigrants from wildly different cultures commit more crimes, and don’t immediately get dragged away by their chains of associations to either “censor this statement” or “deport all brown people.”
Plus you can stop yourself from getting emotionally upset at things or people or political movements when rationally speaking there isn’t any benefit to you getting emotionally upset at them.
Because after all, if you have chains of associations that tie the entire left or the entire right to an irredeemable and awful strawman, then you’re likely to get emotionally upset at them. Conversely, you’re less likely to get emotionally upset if you perceive them as they really are, which is that they have some good and some bad points. Maybe more bad than good, sure, but they’re not irredeemable monsters hell-bent on destruction. Plus, it’s not like your own political side is flawless either.
The next time you see or hear something and you immediately feel some kind of fear or anxiety or anger or judgement, I invite you to take a moment to observe what is actually happening. Because it’s possible that some chain of association is tugging at you and is trying to drag you away to some unconscious, potentially unjustified and perhaps fear-based conclusion.
So: just take a moment to observe.
I hope this was helpful. I love you so very much.
Your star sister,
