Searching The Truth Will Set Us Free: Draw Water from the Well. Draw Love from My Heart….

Wednesday, July 31, 2024

Draw Water from the Well. Draw Love from My Heart….

Draw Water from the Well.

Draw Love from My Heart….

By Steve Beckow

Posted on July 31, 2024

The circumstances in the outside world are bizzarre in the extreme. Here we are waiting for a “President” to die (crazy enough since he’s not sick) who died several years ago, along with his son.

The only medical diagnoses he’s had have been from his own physician who says he hasn’t ever seen Biden, only body doubles.

Here we are waiting for his shadow self, as I believe the Japanese call it, his stand-in, also to “die.”

I hope Arthur Roberts gets an Academy Award for this one…. “Errr … uhhh … you know what I mean.” That should finish that line of fakery, for heaven knows what else next.

Perhaps Joe Biden rising from the dead.

Or Project Bluebeam swooping down and taking Arthur/Joe away. I must be getting blazé.

***

Meanwhile I’m gathering myself after a days’ long experience of fairly-rapid growth.

I feel much more confident than the me I was a week ago. I’m still troubled with regrets and guilt and shame and the really deep emotions, all of which will come up at this time of clearing.

Loving-kindness has reduced my irritability until I can’t find it any more.

So I do recommend to my fellow trolls out there a change of vote: From orneriness to loving-kindness. Life improves dramatically. That’s my report.

I feel something else as well – a forlornness. When I look, I see it’s because – and this is my complaint at the heart of this feeling – we never seem to reach finality on anything.

At this moment, I feel condemned to run a treadmill, seemingly forever, with the carrot on the stick being “Tomorrow.” Who cheers up the cheerleader?

I do, of course. I remember what I’m forgetting and I get back to work.

***

I’m forgetting to draw love up from my heart. I was stuck in believing the environment, the climate of the synching of energy was still here. But, no, it left overnight and I’m back on the ground.

Oh, now I see what this is. This is the post-experience letdown. I know this very, very well.

My first experience of any form of post-experience letdown was after a spiritual transformation I went through at an Enlightenment Intensive I took at Cold Mountain in 1976. The story is cute and instructive. May I tell it?

The EI master in the Enlightenment Intensive asked us to come up to the front if we thought we had had an experience. That was a trick question.

I thought I had had an experience and began to walk up to the front. He shouted at me, “Sit down.”

Thinking we had an experience was not what he was looking for.

And then I did have an experience, the first I’m aware of having. I was radiant and I didn’t need the instructor to validate my experience. I got up and walked out the door.

It must have been our last workshop because the next thing I remember I was on the ferry home and I told a little white lie. And the space vanished. I was worse than devastated. I was laid low.

So I’m experiencing a vasana or core issue at this moment that traces back to the loss of that first spiritual experience. That same sense of devastation is here now as forlornness.

I just need to be with it until it feels heard and leaves. Then it’s back to work. Draw water from the well. Draw love from my heart….

Steve Beckow