A Judgmental Person Will Often Use These 10 Phrases

A Judgmental Person Will Often Use These 10 Phrases

By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted on August 18, 2024

 

It may not be obvious when you’re dealing with a judgmental person. But if you pay attention to the way people say things, it might leave you with a few clues.

While masquerading as a caring and sweet individual, a judgmental person will gradually have you questioning most of your decisions. Some cues include raised eyebrows or the silent treatment. But these are pretty obvious.

However, sometimes judgment comes as seemingly innocent statements.

A judgmental person does not mean well

Regardless of the words they say to you, a judgmental person does not mean well. They want you to doubt yourself because, to them, their views and opinions are the most important, if not the only ones that matter.

Sometimes judgmental people want full control or want to ruin your life. And their covert language can slip into the conversation effortlessly. Before you know it, you’re being manipulated to think as they do. Here are a few phrases to watch out for.

1. “Are you sure about that?”

Here’s a funny statement. A judgmental person will have you second-guessing your decisions all day long if you let them. They may say they are just being supportive and want you to think things through, but in reality, they’re jealous and do not want you to succeed.

Think about that for a moment and then read the statement again.

2. “I didn’t know you were into that sort of thing.”

Oh, this is just devious. They seem surprised by what you told them, don’t they? Maybe they have a shocked look on their faces. But listen, you probably aren’t doing anything wrong. They’re just upset that they cannot do the same thing for some reason.

Maybe they’re curious, but when you decide to do something adventurous, they turn judgmental instead of supporting you. Go figure.

3. “I have a much better idea.”

While this may seem harmless, like someone wanting to give their opinion, it can be judgmental. When someone says this, they’re implying that they have the best option or solution for a given problem. They’re one-upping everyone else in the conversation.

4. “If I were you…”

Let me finish that statement. “If I were you, I would do it this way.” A judgmental person believes that you should listen to them because they know what’s best for you.

The statement may seem like friendly advice, but it’s just the beginning of a whole tirade of being a better you than you can be for yourself. If that makes sense. They have already appointed themselves as ruler of your life.

5. “That’s a different style”

Have you ever received a compliment that didn’t sound right? Well, you were probably the victim of a judgmental person. They have a knack for giving backhanded compliments and disguising insults. What they mean is,

“I think that outfit looks bad or weird”, or even worse, “I wouldn’t be caught dead in that.”

Yes, they are judging you for your choice of fashion, your hairstyles, or your choice of accessories.

6. “I would never do that.”

Whatever you’ve done, the judgmental person believes it was a mistake. Better yet, they want you to know that they’ve never made such a “mistake” themselves.

What’s more, they want you to know that they are above doing such things, and would know better. They probably look down on what you’ve done, considering it deplorable. And if you’re talking on the phone, you can smell their judgmental stench from a mile away.

7. “It’s just common sense.”

This statement usually comes right after the judgmental person offers their opinion on any given subject. This phrase means that anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter.

The judgmental person thinks what they say is more intelligent than what anyone else can offer. They are dismissing any possible differing opinions.

8. “To each their own.”

While this phrase may seem harmless, it can be quite the opposite. If a judgmental person says this, what they mean is,

“I do not agree, nor do I like what a person is doing.”

And honestly, it’s none of their business how others spend their time or what others do. But this doesn’t stop the judgmental individual from making this unnecessary statement.

9. “Some people have too much time to spare.”

This statement is a jab at how people choose to spend their time. Maybe you like to hang out with friends every week and go shopping. A judgmental person may say you’re wasting time with this activity.

In their mind, if they do not partake in this activity, it’s a bad idea. It all seems to go back to what they will and will not do with their free time.

10. “My goodness. Bless their heart.”

I was born and raised in the southern U.S., and I can attest to this statement being judgmental…sometimes.

First of all, it can be a show of genuine sympathy. However, in most cases, it tends to be patronizing, expressing pity and criticism instead of sympathy. It’s like they’re saying,

“Poor thing. You just don’t measure up, do you?”

So now, how cruel does that sound?

Let’s all try not to be so judgmental

Life would be more pleasant if we minded our own business, don’t you think? I believe this. And if you’re wondering if someone in your life is judgmental, they will make one or more similar remarks to the phrases I listed above. But the key is to not let these people bring you down.

Please keep enjoying things in your life. How you spend your time and who you spend your time with is your business and yours alone. So, when someone says things like this, it’s best to just let it go and concentrate on making yourself happy.

Go out there and conquer the world if you like. And don’t let others make you feel guilty about it, either.

Sherrie Hurd

About the author:

 

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

68 Clever Comebacks to Say When Someone Belittles You

68 Clever Comebacks to Say When Someone Belittles You

By Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Posted on February 23, 2024

 

 

Featured image by stockking on Freepik

Have you ever wished you had a clever comeback when someone belittles you? I am useless at thinking quickly. It’s only afterwards I come up with a witty putdown, but the moment’s passed.

Though, I do keep clever comebacks up my sleeve for rude people. I’ve also looked at social media sites to find some cracking responses. I’ve grouped them into categories, but if you like them, use as you see fit.

What to say when someone belittles you?

When someone tries to belittle you with big or uncommon words:

“Sorry, I’m not into Pokémon.”

“That must be exhausting, using up your entire vocabulary in one sentence…”

“At least you have your looks.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening. Can you say it again?”

“Okay, more about how AMAZING you are.”

What to say when someone belittles what you’re wearing:

“Yeah, I bought it off your dad.”

“I can change my shirt, but you’ll have that face for the rest of your life.”

“Your mom doesn’t seem to mind it.”

“The 1950s called. They want their fashion back.”

“Nice shirt. Does it come in Men’s?”

When someone keeps correcting you:

“Thanks. Now, back to my point.”

“Some people are like old cars. It takes one hit to shut them up.”

When someone calls you a rude name:

“You are as charming as you are eloquent.”

“I’ve been called worse things by better people.”

“I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.”

“I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.”

When someone makes a joke and laughs at your expense:

“Your grandmother must be so proud.”

“You weren’t laughing when the herpes test came back.”

“Why don’t you go home to your wife and my kids?”

“Aren’t you due back in the lab to get your bolts tightened?”

“No wonder people talk about you behind your back.”

When someone belittles you by interrupting all the time:

“I’m sorry for talking while you’re interrupting. Please, you go first.”

“Oh, I’m sorry that the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours.”

“I’m in a hurry. Is this going to take long? I’m double-parked.”

When someone is making fun of your intelligence:

“Damn, you must’ve been at the top of the bell-curve in school.”

“Do something useful, hold this…”

“Are you one of those people that thinks jet fuel can melt steel beams?”

When someone is being a bitch:

“Who lit the fuse on your tampon?”

“Someone needs to slap the trailer out of you.”

“You’re just not pretty enough to be this stupid.”

“Can you turn the bitch down? I can’t hear myself think.”

“You’re just bitter cause your parents wanted a boy.”

“I was just wondering if you were as nice as you are pretty.”

When someone belittles your decisions/lifestyle:

“I’m happy with my decisions and my life, but thank you for your concern.”

“It’s a shame you feel that way.”

“I’m an alcoholic, not an accountant.”

When someone just won’t shut up:

“If I throw a stick, will you leave?”

“I would love to continue this battle of wits, but I refuse to fight an unarmed man.”

“Why don’t you talk about something you know?”

“I don’t care what everyone else says. I don’t think you’re that bad.”

When someone’s belittling turns aggressive:

“Oh, you are SO right. I hadn’t thought of that! Thank you so much for being thoughtful enough to share your wisdom!”

“Are you okay hun?”

“You hang in there.”

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Hug it out?”

“Are you having a bad day?”

When someone is really rude to you:

“Oh be quiet, you’re turning me on.”

“You know what’s sad? Someday, you’re going to die alone… and I won’t be there to see it.”

Fart loudly and say, “I’m so sorry. I was trying to give a shit about you, but that was the best I could manage.”

“That was really rude. You must be so embarrassed.”

“I can eat an alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that.”

“Look, you managed to tie your shoes today. We should just count our blessings.”

“You must be a devil with the ladies.”

When someone says, “You can’t take a joke.”

“But I’m here with you.”

“I’m trying to see it from your point of view, but I just can’t get my head that far up my own arse.”

“Don’t you have a paper route to get to?”

When someone belittles you by calling you trash:

“At least trash gets taken out once a week.”

When you just need a quick comeback:

“You’re going to make someone a great ex-wife/husband one day.”

“You are a modest man, with much to be modest about.”

“Your low self-esteem is finally justified.”

“You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!”

“I think you’re funny. But looks aren’t everything.”

“Is this what you want to be doing when Jesus looks down on you?”

“Is there something you need, dear? Can I call someone for you?”

“Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.”

“I wish we were better strangers.”

“You’d be an idiot savant if you had a talent.”

“For someone who talks a lot of shit, you sure have nice teeth.”

Final thoughts

It’s difficult to come up with a witty putdown when someone belittles you. I hope you find the above examples useful. Why not let me know if you have any I haven’t mentioned?

References:

• reddit.com
• parade.com

Janey Davies

 

 

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

Sub-editor & staff writer at Learning Mind

Janey Davies has been published online for over 10 years. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. Janey uses the experiences of her own anxiety to offer help and advice to others dealing with mental health issues.

 

Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

 

10 Things Manipulators Say to Make You Feel Guilty

10 Things Manipulators Say to Make You Feel Guilty

By Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted on October 28, 2023

 

 

 

 

The things manipulators say dig deeply into your emotions. These statements cause you to doubt yourself and place more importance than you should on their words.

 

Manipulators are masters of deceit. It’s difficult to notice what they’re doing sometimes, as they’ve wrapped their cape of lies around you. You’re enmeshed, drawn into another reality, and begun to fall victim to their expert gaslighting maneuvers.

 

Now, you feel guilty, and you don’t know why.

 

So, what are the things manipulators say?

 

Manipulators say many things but rarely have healthy conversations with you. According to them, they are superior, victimized, and neglected all at the same time. And when they want something, they will stop at nothing to get it.

 

We can find manipulators in many personality types, so just calling them narcissists wouldn’t quite fit. But to the point, here are a few things manipulators will say to make you feel guilty. Pay close attention to these types of phrases so they cannot take advantage of you.

 

1. “I never said that.”

 

Manipulators use expert control techniques. One of those techniques is gaslighting. This behavior is a little difficult to explain, as it takes many forms and includes factors.

 

But basically, manipulators use gaslighting to make you second-guess things you’ve said or done. When they say things like, “I never said that”, they probably did. If the statement goes against their agenda, they will deny it.

 

2. “It was your idea, not mine.”

 

People who will easily manipulate you will never take responsibility for a bad idea or failure. It’s just not something they do. You see, the whole idea is to manipulate anything and anyone with the goal of always winning.

 

So, if they happen to make a plan to do something, and it turns out to be terrible, they will not take ownership of the idea. And it doesn’t have to be a big plan either, because it makes no difference.

 

3. “You’re lying.”

 

We all tell little white lies sometimes; you know those convenient fibs. But most of us want to be honest. You may strive to be as genuine as possible and even feel guilty when you’re not. The manipulator knows this too.

 

They know that you will get defensive if you’re called a liar. And when you are defensive, you are vulnerable. And from there, the manipulator can make you do just about anything out of guilt.

 

4. “You’re way too sensitive.”

 

The things manipulators say not only make you feel guilty, but they truly hurt. Saying that you’re too sensitive about a certain topic is saying that everyone should have the same sensitivities. They pick and choose which feelings you should or should not display, sometimes calling it drama.

 

But there is a difference between starting a real dramatic scene and having sensitivities. The manipulator knows this, but they use statements like this to, again, put you in a vulnerable place of guilt.

 

5. “You caused this.”

 

Talking about guilt, the manipulator couldn’t be more obvious when they blame you. Those who often use manipulation will do physically and mentally hurtful things, then turn around and say that you instigated the incident.

 

Yes, there is a cause and effect, but ultimately, you are responsible for your own actions, regardless. So, do not fool yourself by listening to what they say. Don’t let them guilt trip you. They thrive on watching you fall.

 

6. “Do you really want to hurt me?”

 

Did you read that in the pop singer Boy George’s voice? Well, maybe not all of you know who that is, or maybe you’re too young. Honestly, I’m not sure what Boy George meant by his lyrics, but in this case, these words are manipulative.

 

When a toxic person wants something from you and you say no, they will make it seem like your refusal hurts them. And refusals can hurt sometimes, as most of us usually want a “yes” answer. But in this case, the manipulator is causing guilt by playing the victim.

 

7. “I apologized. What else do you want?”

 

Okay, we can only say we’re sorry so many times and it becomes meaningless. However, manipulative people expect you to just take one apology with no effort to fix their mistakes.

 

Smart people see right through the flippant apologies. And when you start trying to communicate and understand why they did something hurtful, this is when they use the “I apologized already” excuse. Most of the time, manipulators just want to walk all over you and then hope you’ll forget about it.

 

8. “You’re causing a scene”

 

Here’s one of the other things manipulators say to make you feel guilty. They will instigate an argument in public, something so infuriating that you lash out. Sometimes they can make you so angry around people that you start shouting at them.

 

Listen, it’s true that people can be verbally abusive. But when someone is manipulating you to the point of making you lose your cool, you’re prone to strike out dramatically. There is a difference between verbal abuse and reaching a breaking point. I think you understand this.

 

9. “If you really loved me, you’d do it”

 

I absolutely hate this. This statement was used on me so many times that I cringe when I think about it. I was so naïve and usually just did what my toxic partner wanted, so he wouldn’t say this.

 

But here’s the truth: just because you care about someone doesn’t mean you must do everything that they ask of you. Sometimes it’s fine to say, “No” with no explanations. And it doesn’t mean you love them any less.

 

10. “You misunderstood what I said.”

 

Here’s another one to get the blood boiling. Have you ever listened to something ludicrous coming out of a friend’s mouth and then you got angry? Well, if that happened and your friend was a manipulative person, they probably backpedaled (said that you misunderstood what they were saying).

 

Manipulative humans will always keep the word “misunderstood” in their back pocket when they need to use it. Here’s what you should do: Call them out on what they said, and do not let them weasel out of it.

 

Why are the things manipulators say so frustrating?

 

It is so frustrating dealing with the things manipulators say because they take control of you. If you fail to be strong and hold tight to your self-worth, a manipulator will steal all your vitality and zest for life.

 

They have similar characteristics to an energy vampire. And you might say,

 

“Well, why not just stop dealing with them at all? Don’t talk to them. Ignore them.”

 

And that is an option. But it can be more complicated than that depending on the role the manipulator plays in a person’s life.

 

When manipulative people start playing their games, it’s distracting. It’s damaging, tiresome, and takes so much focus away from the important things in life.

 

While you’re busy trying to sort out someone’s fake hurt feelings, you could be doing something more productive. And for those who just cannot get away from them, sometimes walking away temporarily helps you stay calm. Just keep that in mind.

 

Featured image by Freepik

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

About the author:

 

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

Staff writer at Learning Mind
Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

Copyright © 2012-2023 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.